


There's Always a Choice

by KnightWriter_0



Category: Star Wars: Jedi: Fallen Order (Video Game)
Genre: Bonding, Cal/Trilla if you squint, Character Study, Depression, Found Family, Gen, No Beta, Psychometry, The Force, i guess, possible force bond lol
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-28
Updated: 2019-11-28
Packaged: 2021-02-26 02:14:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,782
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21595957
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KnightWriter_0/pseuds/KnightWriter_0
Summary: Trilla lives, but it doesn't mean she comes out unscathed or okay.
Relationships: BD-1 & Cal Kestis, Cere Junda & Cal Kestis, Cere Junda & Trilla Suduri, Greeze & Trilla Suduri, Nightsister Merrin & Trilla Suduri, Trilla Suduri & Cal Kestis, slight Trilla Suduri/Cal Kestis
Comments: 3
Kudos: 71





	There's Always a Choice

**Author's Note:**

> I have no clue wtf this is, I love star wars and this game was absolutely amazing yes it has it flaws, but either way. Lol. Sorry if Trilla and everyone else is out of character idk.
> 
> Leave a comment and enjoy!
> 
> P.s. feel free to point out any spelling mistakes.

The likelihood of living, breathing, and being pulled out of Darth Vader himself range of attack enough to live another day was near impossible to think of.

One moment she felt like a scared Padawan all over again feeling the dark cold shadow of that consumed everything. Every thought, every tremble of her body feeling the rage Vader emitted made her want to curl into Cere's arms to keep her safe from the monster despite everything that had happened between them. 

It was Cal and suddenly even Cere who pulled her out of the way the last second. 

Even so, she still had an ugly mark of the blade slicing through her back. A slice that would have killed her if she wasn't pulled out like she was. 

The rest that happened after was a rough messy haze with her and Cal running through the halls of the Fortress, Vader almost catching up to her and Cal into the elevator then again a final stand off with Vader. They could barely do anything Cal just barely able to block Vader's strikes, and stabbing Cal with his own saber while she just barely used the force to hold Vader in place with whatever strength she had. It wasn't till Cere came out of nowhere to save them at a cost, with Cere using the dark side like she did those years ago. The cold and fear enveloping her master, but Cal's light pulled Cere out of it. Thank the force.

They had a choice. 

The heavy weight of water was all that was left till she woke up once more in the last place she ever thought she would of been in. The Mantis. 

Her back was in pain, she was used to pain the hours of torture spoke for it's self on that, but it didn't mean it flared and itched like hell. The bacta patch not helping in it feeling itchy either. She could make it go away, but she didn't trust herself so soon to use the force not now. She couldn't go back what she was: an Inquisitor. Yet she didn't feel like she was worthy to use the light like the Jedi she once was either. 

She could just barely get up as she heard footsteps near the small room she was currently stuck in. Her old Master's face welcoming her. Cere rushing over pushing her gently back down on the cot.

"Careful. How do you feel?"

It took a while for Trilla to find her voice. "I don't know."

Cere took it in stride motioning for Trilla to turn to her side to check her wound. Carefully taking off the bandages and bacta patch Cere looked at the cut across Trilla's back. It was shallow, but the skin around it red and swollen. It needed more help than Cere could provide at the moment it was definitely bigger than just the average cut and scrape Cal would get. She would have to ask Greeze to make a stop to find a medic quick. 

Trilla didn't even flinch as Cere gently touched the edges of the wound as she patched it back up. 

Cere spoke, "Rest. You need it."

Trilla didn't respond, still laying on her side she listened carefully at her former Master's footsteps fade away, then voices if only barley through the walls and hum of the ship. She was restless her mind going in circles on way was she still alive. Why was Cere helping her? Why did Cal have to save her? 

She didn't feel worthy of it.

| ∆ |

They had made a few stops from what she could feel as she woke once more on the Mantis. The first to get her back fixed, it would scare over unsurprisingly, but not as bad as Cal's. Every stop after that was to knows where. Places Greeze or even Cere would slightly mention that where places the Zeffo where once, once upon a time. 

Trilla wasn't surprised she wasn't allowed off the ship, but it wasn't like she any place to go or any place she wanted to be. The Inquisition no doubt either hunting for her or forgetting about her. She had her bets on hunting considering the things she knew, needless to say. 

Her time on the Mantis was tense as the months had passed slowly by since Cal and Cere had saved her. Trilla wasn't sure what to make of it. 

Greeze of course the most afraid of her as he only spoke a few words to her at a time as he trembled in fear or at the very least kept his distance. Cere on the other hand was warm if not cautious. She didn't blame her their more than messy history. Where to start on fixing it was too daunting for Trilla to even think of. She didn't know how, even as the days passed by it only felt harder to do. They all lived on a tiny ship one would think they would have resolved it by now. It didn't feel right, she didn't feel ready.

Strangely of all the people a Nightsister was on their ship; Merrin. Trilla knew a few stories of the Nightsisters, at least enough to know of their magik. Merrin was okay a strange girl, with a wickedly dry sense of humor and…feeling to her that was connected to the force, but different. 

Trilla tried not to think about the force, she pushed it down feeling the swells of power, dark, cold, but also light, warmth, and secure. It was strange, a strange pull of both, both pulling so tightly at her she couldn't. She wouldn't. 

Some days she felt the light pull other days the dark, both fighting within her. 

Cal finally was the most welcoming to her even with their own little history now, the taunts, the fights, from one planet to the next. She had seeked him out to find the holocron, planted doubt in his mind, but in the end it never worked. Cal only came out stronger than ever in his journey. The holocron too destroyed by his hands. 

A choice, a choice honestly Trilla knew it was right. They would have become monsters like she was like the rest of the Inquisitors. They, she never had a choice. 

Cal at first was cautious of course, but slowly knew she wasn't what she used to be. Her confidence was gone, her eyes dim. It almost reminded him of himself when the Purge was still fresh in his mind. He could feel the fight she had within herself of the light and the dark. Ever since he touched her saber everything felt different like everything was moved two inches out of place. Fine, but no quite right and he couldn't tell why.

He would always talk to her about anything from his days training with Master Tapal to his mundane life on Bracca. Or even a few of the conversations the soldiers would have on his way to the Zeffo temples. Trilla was thankful for those moments even if she never said anything, she always listened. 

| ∆ |

Her heart said to let go, her mind told her to hold on. She didn't know which one to choose.

The Empire was at large taking and take till the could no more and moved onto the next planet slowly destroying it, stripping it of its resources, people, history, everything, the Emperor didn't care. Power. Power was his only goal till nothing else was left. She said as much when her was out of her room listening to the others talk of where to go to next. 

The atmosphere of the ship changing as soon as she spoke. All of them looking at her. She didn't say much after that only giving information of certain planets that they could possibly help. At least a few of those she had been to, they would stick to helping whatever they could of the planets they were helping already. 

| ∆ |

She didn't know when it started, but pacing the Mantis after being in it for so long was making her crazy. Not as bad as before no, but she needed something different. She was hiding for too long, she needed to do something, she needed to be someone. 

It was always the little things that added up she didn't know when or how, but Trilla slowly warming up to them, well more so Greeze's case. Finally able to make her smile even a bit at his worst jokes or her giving him a small quip back. Merrin was easier considering neither none of them had any history. The Nightsister's sense of force was fascinating as she described it and used it to help them out a pinch or two with the Haxon bounty hunters. Trilla helped Merrin understand and speak different languages alongside Cere and Cal when they could from Binary to some Shyriiwook. 

Cere of course had her moments with her, it didn't matter how late or how out of control Trilla's abilities were whenever she had a nightmare bad enough to wake up the entire crew. Cere understood. She always got her a good cup of tea they always reminded her of the good moments from when she was a Padawan. At least for a moment all of them eventually twisting to a bittersweet feeling, Trilla was torn. 

Cal and BD two peas in a pod. They were a good team that reminded her of the stories of the legend Anakin Skywalker and his own trusty droid R2-D2. The pair were also there at least in moments she least expected. Cal was always there during her more intense moments with the dark side, always just barley pulling her off the edge of falling in once again. BD helping in being just about the most adorable droid ever it seemed with a personality that was as bright as Cal's. 

After so long of feeling all the days where blending together Trilla wanted to do something, prove to the crew she was good enough to be apart of them in some way. 

Everyone in some way seemed to agree. Cere especially knowing her restlessness. Their next mission was to a planet that held another Zeffo temple, Trilla would help Cal on the field as back up carrying a blaster and a comm in case anything went sideways. It was fine at first nothing out of the ordinary trying to find the temple once more populated by Stormtroopers in just about every corner. There were fewer troopers than those on Zeffo, but didn't mean they were supposed to be underestimated. Cal, BD-1, and Trilla sneaked through the base working their way through it a lot smoother than even she expected. The tricky part were the ones in tighter groups the danger of them calling for backup was not an option. Thankfully BD was just the trick to get them to split up and let Cal and Trilla do the rest. 

Finally getting to the temple was almost daunting to her, she could feel the force like a nexus swirl around the ancient structure just like the one on Bagano. She felt like if she stepped into it she wouldn't come back out. 

Cal looked at her. "You okay?"

"The force feels strange here."

"Like Bagango?"

Trilla nodded. BD beeped at them, but she wasn't listening she could only feel the force pull her into the temple almost hypnotically. Cal and BD following close behind. With each step she took Trilla's heart beat just a little bit faster. The force was guiding her, guiding them to who knows where inside the temple. The air deep underground was stale and old. Very few artifacts where still intact, but it was still enough for Cal with his psychometry to pick up on the memories or faint emotions stuck to them painting a bigger picture of the temple. 

It wasn't until they got to the heart of the temple did things start to get real. Her first day out the Mantis in months and it seemed the force was shoving her into the deep end making her choose.

One moment Cal and BD are next to her talking to each other as she listened to them, the next they were gone. Only her in the big whinding temple that pulled her in despite everything. She didn't know what the force wanted from her. She called out for Cal and BD, but nothing. 

Instead it was Cere who appeared before her, Cere during the Clone Wars, she felt like a padawan again looking at her former Master. Then from behind Vader. Trilla's heart dropped fear wrecking her body. Vader's saber igniting and slicing through Cere like it would of done her all those months ago. Trilla screamed. 

She didn't know what to do, her mind panicking pulling Cere towards her, but the force changed everything around her once more. Now Cal and Merrin where with her, and so where the Inquisitors. She didn't need to see their faces to know which ones where with her. First there was nothing then everything happening all at once Merrin and Cal fighting just barely holding off the Inquisitors there were too many. They were too powerful the dark side fueling them, their fear, her fear feeling them. 

Tears where slipping down Trilla's face. She had to make a choice. 

The sound of Merrin crying out in pain, then Cal, she could feel their pain like it was her own. She knew pain more than either one of them could imagine, but the sight of seeing them slowly be cut down and watch her former Master be cut down by that monster where too much. 

Her mind was on overdrive, she was on her knees feeling absolutely helpless. Suddenly the Grand Inquisitor was in front of her.

"How pathetic. To think you where one of us. Time to watch your friends die." 

Trilla screamed once more. No. She couldn't watch them die, no more. No more people dying because she felt so helpless frozen with fear. She reached out to the force, everything slowed down, her mind and spirit flowing deep into the nexus of the temple. She felt connected to everything, she took a deep breath, her mind finding focus, she heard a voice, their words echoed through her mind. 

'Trust in the force' 

She didn't know how long it took, but feeling the force reach out to her as much as she reached out it in the moment felt surreal. The force flowed through her fingers pulling the Inquisitors closer to them, but last second flinging them away I every direction sabers flying and everything once again disappearing. 

She was back at the temple. Cal and Merrin nowhere in sight. She didn't know where she was.

'Trust in the force'

Another echo. She let it flow through her feeling a pull with each step she took. The path left endless, one puzzle after another getting through tight spaces. Her only thoughts where on finding Cal and BD again. To return to the Mantis and talk to Cere, joke with Merrin, enjoy Greeze's cooking. They had become her support maybe even her family. As strange as it was, the feeling was there, but she was the final piece they needed to do her part and finally connect with them. 

The force and pull sung and pulled stronger, she was close to the center of the temple again. Faintly she could hear Cal calling out her name. His voice giving her hope as she squeezed herself through the tight space she managed to crawl herself into. The more she moved forward the clearer Cal's voice got. Till finally she called out to him. His voice then relieved to hear she was alive. 

To finally be free of the tight space and into Cal's arms nearly conking her heading into BD who booped in relief. Trilla held onto Cal tight just about melting into his hold onto her. New tears falling down her face happy to see them again and knowing they were real and fine. No Inquisitors, no Vader. Just them. Cal let her hold onto him, he didn't know how long their hug was only when she pulled away their was a fire in her eyes again. Her connection with the force back again, her touch with it hesitant, for now at least. 

Trilla held onto Cal's hand she really didn't want him to disappear again. She softly spoke, "Let's go home." 

Cal felt his heart swell, the force humming around them. BD beeping over his shoulder. 

"Yeah. Let's go home."


End file.
